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Medal Of Honor Heroes 2 PSP

My video, about NEW!!! Medal of Honor Game.

Dkoldies Epic Tale of Where They Get All Those Classic Video Games

Everyday we are asked this question. I will tell someone what I do for a living and the first question is always, “but where do you get all this stuff”. To be honest I could never tell them the truth because they would never believe me and I was always scared of ridicule. I would always tell them I had wholesalers or I bought stuff on the Internet or garage sales. This would always hold them off long enough for me to change the subject to their job or family. After years of keeping this secret I am finally ready to spill the beans of how I get thousands and thousands of rare classic Nintendo Video games everyday.

It all started one day I was lost in my back woods about 7 years ago. My dog had run off and would not come back so I had to go in after him. I never walked in my woods before because of all the pricker bushes, they were everywhere. This time I decided to suck it up, stop being a puss and go get my stupid beagle.

It was late fall and most of the leaves were off the trees, I could see out pretty far but there was no sign of him. I stopped yelling because he is obviously not listening anyway and I felt it would be better to listen for the jingling on his collar. I walked about 2 miles out and still no sign of him. I could no longer see my house and I got turned around a few times so I didn’t really know if I had been walking in circles or not. I think I heard the old saying about someone who gets lost a lot that “he could get lost in his own back yard” or something like that. Well here I am lost in my own back yard.

Anyway, back to the story. I was lost in the woods looking for my stupid dog who was probably at home by now sipping tea and eating out if the butter dish. I had just decided to turn what i thought was back when I heard a noise. It was a loud, not thunderous mind you just a loud sound of someone that was all pissed off. It was a strange sound to hear out in the woods with no one around for miles. I followed the sound to a small clearing and a hole in the ground. A light shined out of the hole and the sounds were definatley comming for in there. I yelled down, I said in my suttle yet soothing voice “Yo F*$^ers, what is going on down there?”. Now this is where things get nuts so just stay with me. I hear a rumbleing down there and stuff comes flying out of that hole like a grenade just went off. And out of the whole come this… Now your gonna ask me if I’m serious and yes I am dead serious so don’t question it. Okay, out of the whole comes a giant “Frog Man”. Yes, a Frog Man, he had legs and sneakers like a man and actually everything else was like a man but he just looked like a Frog and I thought it would be cool to say a giant Frog man came out instead of some crazy dude that sorta looked like a frog. So, you were right to be skeptical. Here is a studio photo of him:

So, to finish up. The crazy giant old Frog man guy comes out of the whole and laughs at me. I compose myself and say “Listen dude, I’m sure your just lost or something and if you want to hang here a while with your frog wife and kids its cool, but I need you out of here by night time or I’ll call the cops.” He laughs again and says, and this I will never forget because it changed my life forever. He said, “never forget this moment because it will change your life forever.”, and he was right because it did and I didn’t. He took me down the hole, and oh when a giant frog man beast in your back yard woods comes out of a hole I do not suggest going down there with him. Actually I do but my lawyers said I have to have that disclaimer in so kids don’t follow and Frog men down holes.

Down in the hole he showed me what all the fuss was about. He took me down a long corridor, we had to be like 30ft below the surface because my ears were popping and my ears always pop at like 30ft. I know this from my previous deep sea adventures but that another story for another time. So, down the corridor we come to a room and there is a hole in this room that my new frog man friend tells me goes on almost forever. He tells me that whatever I wish for will fill this hole to the top. He said he has been here for 17,000 years using up the contents of this hole and it is now time to leave. Normally most people would not belive this story from the Frog man and call the cops and leave, but I being in similar situations believed this guy right away.

This was easy, I had one wish and I could fill this crazy giant hole with whatever I wanted. When I was a kid I thought if I had a million dollars I would buy as many 1 cent gum balls at the grocery store gumball machine and just lay around in them eating gumballs all day. But those are dreams of children, so I wished for the hole to be filled with old school Nintendo and other various Classic Video Games Games and systems and stuff like that. At that moment the hole was overflowing with video games and systems from all consoles. Super Mario 3, Contra, Megaman 1 through 6, Chrono Trigger and more. Every game system and controller filled in a hole in my back yard deep withing the woods. As soon as this happened the frog man slapped me in the face and said I am a F(*&ing idiot, something about human kind and mortallity and all that but all I was thinking about was playing Double Dribble and hitting threes all day long. I was like “Don’t judge me Frog”, what did you wish for? He said he had wished for love, peace and to be one with all that is and ever will be to be filled in that whole and he has spent all his days of those 17000 years in it. I laughed and said I think we both know who came up with the better wish. He smacked me again but I let him because he was old and looked like a frog. As I left to go back home I hired the frog man to work for me and we started www.DKOldies.com an online Classic Video Game store that has every game you could wish for, literally.

Now even though the Frog man died days later from being over 17,000 years old, he did leave me with dream of froggy goodness for all mankind. Before he took his last breath he did agree that this wish was good and that www.DKOldies.com would be good wishes and cheer to all that took a visit and this was also good. Come visit www.DKOldies.com and see for yourself, if you would like to sell your games please goto our site and send us an email.

Nintendo Wii Games – Download Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 Nintendo Wii Game

Are you looking for a place where you can download Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 from the Internet free? Let me tell you what most free games download sites are scams and illegal, so you do not want to pay for the right consistency? So why not get the game Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 from a legal game download site, which you can download the game for less than $ 0.01 legally? Visit My Wii Downloads for more information.

My Wii Downloads is a game download site that offers this service to download Wii games, movies, music, application software and game cheats. The website is a membership-based program that has a one time fee. As a member of the program, you can download unlimited amount of Wii games and other feeds without restriction. The game comes in a digital file, so once you’ve downloaded the game you can play it on your Wii console right away without waiting. Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 is available for download on my Wii Downloads.

My Wii Downloads is a legitimate game download site because the site has been granted with download rights from Nintendo Corp. as game under the trademark of distribution. So when you download Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 from My Wii Downloads you would not have to worry about copyrighted material.

So why pay for expensive game download while you can actually download Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 My Wii Downloads for less than $ 0.01 lawfully. Visit My Wii Downloads for more information now.

Need for Speed Shift Cheates

Game Features -

True Driver’s Experience – A variety of visual cues delivers the true driver’s experience including a three-dimensional HUD that mimics driver head movement, inertia and G-forces. The depth of field also adjusts based on the speed of the car; so when the car is traveling at high speeds the perspective will shift to the distance putting the car/cockpit out of focus. Driver Profile – What kind of driver are you? Driver profile tracks the player’s evolution as a race driver from event to event. This system is made up of a driver’s personality on the track, their success rate and any profile points and badges accrued all of which work together to create a tailor-made career and game play experience. Driver profile is pervasive throughout all modes: career and online. Dynamic Crash Effect - When the player hits a static object or opponent car, the player will feel like they are ‘taking damage’. A combination of visual and audio effects will leave the player disorientated and briefly disrupt the race. Total Customization – Need for Speed SHIFT features a comprehensive customization option that lets the player tailor every aspect of the cars performance and styling. Go under the hood to upgrade and tune your vehicle to increase its performance. The visual customization system allows players to personalize both the exterior and trick out the interior to reflect their individual style and preferences.Photo Real Cars and Tracks – Nearly 70 licensed cars are available including the Pagani Zonda F, Audi RS4, and Porsche 911 GT3 RSR. There is also over 15 real-world locations like Willow Springs and Laguna Seca as well as fictional circuits like downtown London and Tokyo.

See the entire cheats and details about the game on  – http://www.techarena.in/guide/11307-need-speed-shift-walkthrough-tips-cheats.htm

Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 Review

While ‘FIFA Soccer’ was reinvented to important issue on the on-going generation of consoles, ‘Evolution Soccer’ has fairly distributed along, banking on the late pattern to save it at the lead of the conference.
As we’ve heard in the outside two twelvemonths, that is intelligibly not sufficient any longer, and in ‘Pro Evo 2010′ we see the start signs of the series eventually getting its individual back and making to terms with the more hard hardware.
For example, in my basic 10 minutes with ‘Pro Evolution Soccer 2010′ I get Andrea Pirlo to play an excellently weighted little chip which Pato then slots home past a hopeless Van der Sar. AC Milan 1 Manchester United 0.
It is an experience that says most of what you need to know about ‘Pro Evo 2010′ – almost significantly, that ‘Pro Evolution’ is again about making the enjoyable game attractively.
By contrast, sitting down with ‘FIFA 10′, it had me rather a piece to feel the back of the net, ne’er mind playing so in style. Whereas ‘Fifa Soccer’ is proper a terrifically perfect and real footballing simulation, it doesn’t admit you to play Brazilian-way soccer as easy as ‘PES’ does – and that above each is what ‘Pro Evo 2010′ has working for it.
Whereas the player vitalities and soft cathartics still do not compare with that of ‘Fifa Soccer’, there are certainly meliorations this time round. The game depends and flows a bit better than what it used to. The holds also look harder and more nociceptive than earlier. Supply a simplified tactical management organization and a broadly slicker interface, and we’ve found a set of little promotions that add up to something material.
Better executed player card and squad style systems assist make the tactical side of matters lots softer than it’s ever been. While it is feasible to run ‘Pro Evolution’ without ever even considering around tactics, operating with the more serious face of things in ‘Pro Evo 2010′ is very repaying and certainly supplies a receive layer of depth to the experience.
As ever, on the pitch ‘Pro Evo’ plays a relatively fast game of soccer.
That told, when place alongside ‘Fifa Soccer SOCCER 10′ with its splendidly accomplished 360 grade move and its significant feel of player weight and momentum, one does feel there is a disconnect in gameplay pragmatism. ‘Evolution Soccer’ may be fun, but ‘Fifa Soccer’ is the real affair.

‘Pro Evo 2010′ also offerings a gorgeous solid Be A Legend mood, which permits you to control only a one player on the pitch as reacted to full 11 in your team. Be A Legend brings just about as good as ‘Ea Sports FIFA’s’ Be A Pro and has the gain of a high cam that leans to zoom out more intelligently than that in ‘Fifa Soccer’. Yet, Be A Legend, though a receive novelty, is hardly where you’ll spend almost of your time.
It is lots more likely you’ll spend your hours in ‘Pro Evo’s’ lots-improved live mood. Though instead stingy in comparison to ‘Ea Sports FIFA’ with its Live Seasons and the like, the merrier take on football does make for some extremely pleasurable on-line matches. I made experience some lag while meeting on PSN, but matches were never unplayable as they’ve been in previous years.
All that said though, it continues simpler to play exquisite soccer in ‘Pro Evolution’. And, after all, when you play a hot one-two, then scrap the ball into open space for an on-rushing forward to slide home cheekily, you’ll fall in love with ‘Pro Evolution’ – not for its reality, artworks, or greatest physics, but for its generosity toward your football-loving heart.

FIFA 10
FIFA SOCCER 10
PES 2010 Rocks

World of Warcraft Guide For Novices

Warcraft game series is one of the lowest selling but the most popular, vastly accustomed series of computer derby in the representation of mankind. Especially the multiplayer version of the game patrician “World of Warcraft” has been and it even is the top personage playing/dodge game as we speak. in our time are a few tips if you are just intrusive the shamanic world of warcraft.

If you are an honest individual/internet user you will legally push forward the game instead of downloading a pirate derive from or a hacked version through the various download/sharing networks. Then you will discover that thic et nuncinto are four discs, a comprehensive manual and a few other stuff like maps and logos. Regardless of wtaboard you do the game, you estral dispose it to your personal computer in order to play it. The start goingation is pretty straight set succor and it will guide you through the commencement of your master place world of warcraft account. This will be your game account.

In order to start in the ad hoc measure of the world of warcraft you have to cluster one of the various game servers around the world. That’s when the confirmable magic of the game begins. Tthis night are a series of world of warcraft servers with different attributes, rules and conduct types spread around the world. These servers are called cardinal numberms. Not all servers are auspicious for beginners. It is wise to start experimenting with the game play in a server for beginners and then move on to a server for advanced players. In order to adhere the servers you usually have to pay a typical monthly subscription but tnowatabouts are servers for beginners wthis night and now you can bring together for free.

A few words about the world of Azeroth now, which is the phenomenal place/land whitherwards the game is taking place. This is a fictional world which is vast and charming, surrounded by myths and legends of military mans, spirits, magicians and monsters. It is a world wat present hunger for high tax bracket, remarkableness and knowledge prevails. This world could be a resemblance of our aliquot earth world at medieval times. Taboard are three big continents in Azeroth with cities, villages, castles and dungeons, forests, rivers and all sorts of structures.

Twith us are also a lot of entities in the world of warcraft. Each of the three continents is inhabited by different races. For example in the eastern continent lies the kingdom of the Alliance of the humans the gnomes and the dwarves. Kalidmor on the other hand, which is one more of the continents, is the harshly of the disagreeable orcs and trolls. The orcs and the trolls along with another race called the taurens, strictness the Horde. The Alliance and the Horde are in continuous war.

When you start the game you have to wish sides. You will either come together the forces of the Alliance or the forces of the Horde. Then you will have to create your own special character by decision one of the enneastyle classes of characters that exist in the world of warcraft. Each class possess different skills, attributes and talents inside the game. For example a rider or a military man is not the same as a druid or a mage. This part of the game is the most important. Choosing the right class the fits your own personality or skills will avoid you while you move on.

As you begin your quest in the of world of warcraft, your goal should be to double as much fallow as feasible and to start gaining battle experience by defeating sub monsters and other creatures. As you socialize you will encounter different creatures and greater monsters. In order to defeat those you will curiosity the bar of other individuals. That is the secret to succeed in the game. You new wine unsecured loan a strong couplet of characters/distant relation that will fight prepare and will stay united at all costs. If you can’t timing a outfit of your own it might be a beneficial idea to affiliate with an existing bridge over pick up of characters controlled by different homefolks around the world.

If you have played similar air/ultimate purpose playing meet then you will boast the controls of the game are pretty easy to come on. You cancer know how to use your solo and your mouse to take amenity of the three dimensional environment that world of warcraft offers. Even if you’ve never played such a game erstwhile you will see that the game play is straight recommend and not difficult at all to bridge and twig. This is one of the reasons world of warcraft became so popular after all.

Top 20 Worst Video Games of All Time

What makes a worst video game of all time? Poor storylines, insane difficulty, controlling issues to the point of broken screens… all these contribute towards video games that you threw out your window in disgust of wasting 3 dollars in renting them. On this list we prudently considered what games made us break the most things, and made us ask ourselves “how the fuck was this game ever made?” There were some obvious immediate choices like “Shaq Fu” and “ET”, and there were also some more personal choices like “Fatal Fury” and “Elevator Action”. Old-Wizard brings you these top 20 worst games of all time in hopes that you never have to experience the inexorably abominable game play that we’ve had to experience in playing a game like “Three Stooges”, where what you thought would be 2 days of rented videogame euphoria turned out to be hours of personal disgust, wondering how it was possible you could have rented a game so bad. However, if you are one of those people who like to play bad video games because they make you feel better about yourself and ebullient about your own small accomplishments in life, then these are the games to play. As an elementary programmer, you probably have a decent chance at creating a game better than “Muscle”, and this doesn’t feel too bad.

20. Yo! Noid (NES)

Yo! Noid is about as much fun as eating left over pizza that’s been thrown away in the garbage a week earlier. When an advertising slogan gets put to a video game, you can be sure it’s total ass. This game is no exception. “Yo Noid” may be the best example of idiots in marketing who think that anything can be translated to a video game. This game is grotesquely difficult, much like the side-scrolling style of difficulty found in “Ghost’s ‘n Goblins”. What’s more annoying though is having absolutely no energy and no suit to protect you from just one enemy killing you. Even the smallest enemy within a proximate vicinity can dominate the Noid into oblivion, making you wonder why the hell the Noid took it upon himself to save New York City. His weapon is a yo-yo, not a magic yo-yo like we find in Star Tropics, but a standard yo-yo, making you wonder even more why the Noid thinks he can save New York City with no stamina and a fucking toy yo-yo. If you happen to embody video game luck beyond all understandable limits and get to the end of a level, you are put into a pizza eating contest while the city is on fire making the Noid a hero with no stamina, a bad weapon, and no dedication to the task at hand. What’s worse, if you lose the pizza eating contest, you have to start the insuperable level over again. At that point, you throw the cartridge out the window and remain validated in your consciousness of how bad an idea it always was to take a banal advertising signifier and assume it will be successful as a video game. I don’t think I ever ate at Dominos after playing this egregious excuse for a video game.

19. Skate or Die (NES)

Skate or die? I would rather die then have to play skate or die ever again in this life time. The title screen shows some paltry loser who you want to beat on for looking so clownish. The game irritates you even more. You skate around different areas with the same ramps, same couple of maneuvers, and same impossible controller issues. Then when you finish an area you are bombarded with the same loser from the title screen, this time taking up even more space with his massive poaching noggin (who in their right mind would ever have a mo-hawk?) If your going to make a game called Skate or Die, how can it be one of the most pedestrian games ever made? Is it supposed to feel cutting edge because I’m looking at some goon with an ugly green mo-hawk? At least show a little bit of blood or anger when failing at these boring courses to merit the name skate or die. The same circle of courses proved to be quickly tedious, with little extra to spark any interest in playing further than five minutes, except if you like looking at 8-bit graphics of infirm skaters that may bring images of a “cool dude” flashing the rock hand signal at you when you were doing something cool. I suspect there are some people who like this trash. These people I should never meet, God willing.

18. Where’s Waldo (NES)

Who would have ever thought this would have been a good idea? Okay, maybe if you were going to turn this NES installment into a superhero fighting game where Waldo had superpowers like something coming out of his glasses, but this installment turns out to be the same exact concept as the books, but only worse. At least in the books, you could spot Waldo, the graphics and objects for the NES “Where’s Waldo” are so poor that everything equally looks like shit making it impossible to have any chance at finding him. Why not just stick with the books though in the first place? Who in their right would buy this game? It’s hard to imagine even 5 of these games being sold. Could you imagine anyone admitting to buying this dung when you could buy the nice clear, iridescent books? “Where’s Waldo” consists of a big screen with a cursor moving around over non-descript objects. You would think the sales department would have something to say about this. But as with other games that were brought from the TV screen to platform console, all that mattered was cashing in on a good idea, no matter how bad the idea was for the video game system.

17. Total Recall (NES)

When a publisher releases a video game based on a movie, it seems they often depend on the movie hype to sell copies rather than concentrating on actually producing a quality game. Total Recall for the NES was one such game (we’ll see two more games based on movies on the list as well). It is nothing short of amazing to consider that a console as great as the NES, with its track record of wonderful movie titled games (like Star Wars), would allow for such a mediocre title to be released. To add insult to injury, the game was actually released by Acclaim! Everything about the game leaves something to be desired: the controls are unresponsive, the graphics are atrocious and the game play is just plain confusing. In addition, the story line and characters fail to even resemble those of the movie it is supposed to be portraying — which may not necessarily be a bad thing, since I didn’t much like the movie, either.

16. Fatal Fury (Sega Genesis)

Fatal Fury was fun to play for 2 seconds because of how obvious of a rip off it was of Street Fighter. It was the poor mans Street Fighter, literally and figuratively. The characters were poorly conceived, the after-fight dialogues were a monstrosity of van damnesque platitudes, and the final boss was about as scary as a 4th grade trick or treater in a wonder woman outfit. Your friend bought this game when he couldn’t afford the real street fighter which would go anywhere from $40-$50 dollars. Fatal Fury was a $20 dollar game and it showed. This however did not stop your friend from calling you up and saying “I got this game Fatal Fury that may be better than street fighter”, much to your laughter as you realize your friend made a competition out of who had the better video games (These are the people you would often find with books lying around entitled “How to start a conversation and make friends”). Fatal Fury remains one of the more poor attempts at a 2 player coin-op style fighting game. Combine goofy characters with derivative moves and conspicuous hopes of being “the next street fighter”, and you will get this impoverished piece of crap.

15. Elevator Action (Arcade)

Pac-Man is a simple game and its one of the greatest games of all time. Donkey Kong and the Original Super Mario Brothers are also simple games that rank as some of the best video gaming experiences of all time. Elevator action is also a very simple game, and is one of the worst games of all time, proving that simplicity doesn’t always equal genius. This game gets repetitive quick. Climb down stairs shooting the same fucking sleuth enemies over and over again. Once in awhile, take an elevator down and shoot the same enemies over and over again. The music is deeply irritating and completely uninspired. It’s easy to fall asleep to this music (not in a good Coastal Mario Kart level), which should not be the case for an action thriller that tries to be “edgy”. There’s really nothing more to be said about this game. You will fall asleep 2 minutes into playing Elevator Action or you will be angry it’s so fucking boring. There’s a line between sheer boredom and sheer genius when it comes to overtly simple games like those listed previously. Pac Man you can play for hours and hours on end with a levels that barely change and enemy’s that only gradually increase in speed and difficulty level. Elevator Action on the other hand you know almost immediately to be tired and uninspired.

14. Fester’s Quest (NES)

Playing this game for the first time, the first thoughts that pop to one’s head are “I can’t believe this game was ever created.” Fester’s Quest for the NES is well deserving of its spot on this list. Loosely based off the 1960’s T.V. show The Adams Family, Fester’s Quest follows Uncle Fester as he attempts to save his town from an alien invasion. What? What do aliens have to do with the Adam’s Family? The odd plot sets the tone for the game itself. Uncle Fester’s weapons include a gun that gets worse the more you power it up and whip. The story line, power ups, and game play give you the impression that this was supposed to be a different game before getting the Adams‘ Family name slapped onto it. And as with many of the games on our top 20 worst video games list, Fester’s Quest is hard. I’m talking Contra with lives hard. You get two hits, no extra lives, and no code. The various enemies are difficult to hit with the guns you’re provided with, and if you died even once, you had to start the entire game over again, making it not only hard but incredibly tedious and frustrating. There are almost no redeeming qualities to this game, other than the sound effects, which are lifted directly from Blaster Master, another Sunsoft game, and one of the greatest games ever made. Unfortunately, Sunsoft couldn’t repeat that brilliant success with this atrocious game.

13. Desert Strike: Return to the Gulf (Sega Genesis)

This game was originally released in 1992 for the Genesis system and it maintained a small following for a while. The reason behind the following is most likely due to the onslaught of sequels to this game, which include “Jungle Strike”, “Soviet Strike”, and “Nuclear Strike”. It should be noted of course that all of these titles pretty much give the game away before one is even able to enjoy any playtime. This review however, will only focus on the first in the series “Desert Strike”.

Where should I start…?

I guess it all began with Saddam Hussein and his regime believing they could invade any country in the Middle East without any type of repercussion from an oil thirsty western civilization that wants to promote democracy and Starbuck’s. Global politics aside, a year after the Gulf War, rouge forces lead by a General Kilbaba take over an Arab Emirate with the hopes of beginning WWIII. That is of course if the mighty Apache attack helicopter and its Hellfire missiles has anything to say about it! The military industrial complex of the United States has done it again. A weapon was crafted that takes off from its frigate-base off shore and roars across the dunes with its Gattling gun blaring, leaving only smoldering structures and dismembered human tissue in its wake. Like most other games (all in fact), certain objectives must be met. In order to meet these goals and win, a warrior mentality is needed, along with a strong trigger finger. The Apache is outfitted with Hellfire missiles, Hydra rockets, and a loud cannon that tears shit up! Sounds fun huh?

Sorry…it gets old quick. This happens for several reasons. First, level after level occurs on virtually the same map. Maybe the enemy positions change a little along with the objectives. But the frigate is in the same place off shore. The main refueling and rearming areas are located in the same area. To the laymen, it is just repeated over and over. The game does try and counteract you from getting too bored with the map though. If you do not do the objectives in order, and approach enemy weaponry that is guarding say, a radio tower that is objective three, and you’re still on objective one, the enemies will automatically lock on you and unload their metal payload into the hull of your gunship. A second reason why it got old quick is because of the rather mediocre graphics. This is of course for Sega, so we aren’t expecting HD blood spatters, but when an enemy combatant is killed they fizzle into the dirt as if they were never there. Rather weak if you ask the staff here at Old Wiz. The final reason it gets old quick is because when you face off against the “Big Man” himself, he is rather easy to beat. The final boss is obviously inspired by Saddam Hussein. I mean come on! It took two wars and billions of dollars to find the guy in a spider hole. In Desert Strike it only takes a few well guided missiles and its over. You win. Yay…

Boo is more like it.

12. The Three Stooges (NES)

While most games are bad because the idea of the actual game being played is terrible, or because it is so difficult you can’t get by the first level, “Three Stooges” introduces a new reason why a game can be awful. Three Stooges is basically incomprehensible to play. For the most part you have no idea what you’re doing when you’re playing this game. You press start and you’re taken to an outside street with the three stooges where a Wheel of Fortune wheel comes out of thin air that ostensibly picks what you’re supposed to do in the game. Next you notice you’re in another random place where you have no idea what you’re supposed to do. You’re at a bowl of soup with a spoon in it. There are also what looks like pieces of cat excretion in the soup that you have to eat. Trying to control your spoon proves to be one of the more difficult tasks you will take on in this life. After a couple of minutes of throwing your controller at the screen you hear a sound that sounds like a box fan breaking down which I think is supposed to be one of the 3 stooges getting angry that you didn’t pass a test that you couldn’t control and knew nothing about, and had no idea how you got there, and why your eating soup with ambiguous objects inside. You next may randomly find yourself in a hospital flying down an operating room with a nurse picking up things she’s dropping. You have no idea what you’re picking up though. Once again, trying to control this fiasco proves excessively enigmatic, and once again you will be throwing your controller at the screen.

This game is so bad, it’s difficult to review any longer. This is a perfect example of what happens when you try to take something from the TV or movie screen and apply it to video gamedom. Creators who want to cash in on screen success pay no attention to the garbage they’re putting out for the video game.

11. Superman: The New Superman Adventures (N64)

Superman: The New Superman Adventures, released for the Nintendo 64, is by far the worst thing to happen to the Superman franchise since Richard Pryor. Univerally panned for its ridiculous plot, the game also offers up bad graphics and poor gameplay. The plot unfolds to reveal Lex Luthor’s entrapment the Man of Steel’s best friends – Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen and Professor Hamilton – in some virtual world into which you must enter to save them. My first thoughts upon hearing this plot were, “Okay, sounds stupid so far, but most Superman plots are. I still can’t wait to play as Superman on the N64. This is going to be great! Besides, anything with Superman can’t be all bad.” Boy, was I wrong. The gameplay and missions themselves are just plain boring. For some reason, Lex Luthor has suspended some hoops in the air, and you must fly through them in order to complete you mission objectives. Okay, this can still be cool: I like flying. Nope. The unresponsive controls will have you assuming you have pushed the wrong button which usually results in mashing others to get some sort of response, all the while being confused by the weird perspectives. Not only that, but you barely get to use your other powers since you are occupied flying around through some boring backgrounds that look more like they belong on SNES than the N64. You do occasionally get to fight a virtual copy of one of Superman’s archenemies, though. The only reason to play this game is to see how bad it is, and only if you can find a friend who still owns a copy and hasn’t resold it or burned it.

10. Ghosts n’ Goblins

A reoccurring theme for the top 20 worst games of all time has been when games have been so difficult that you had to buy a new tv from smashing your controller against it too much. There is no game that exemplifies this upshot from sheer difficulty like Ghosts ‘n Goblins. 1/8th through the first level you’re surrounded by mound and mounds of enemies. As you’re walking as your character, you’re basically surrounded by a force field of enemies coming at you from every possible angle. Ok, maybe if you had a lot of energy or someone decent armor, you could take the level one onslaught of nefarious enemy’s. As you walk, you see you do have armor, looks like pretty strong armor, until a weak ass looking bird swoops down, barely hits you, and your armor comes flying off. Not even faux-Halloween armor is this poor. I’m pretty sure that if a bird touched a plastic armor suit that you wore for Halloween, it wouldn’t come flying off. As your worthless armor comes flying off, you’re left with an almost-naked character who is left with nothing on except underwear. Q: Who wears nothing under armor? Am I inept to mid-evil tradition or is there something completely untenable about someone wearing nothing under armor? Your basically left naked running around in the wild with a force field of petulant enemy’s surrounding you at every second. This stultifying game play leads you to give up after 1 to 2 minutes making you feel like shit and making you retire to much more germane games with more sane difficulty levels. When programmers make these games, don’t they realize these most obvious setbacks for the player? Setbacks so large, that they stop playing the game after 5 minutes?

9. Jurassic Park (Sega Genesis)

One of the best selling books of all time subsequently made into one of the highest grossing movies of all time, right? You’d think they would attempt to design a game of similar stature, right? You obviously have never played this boring as paint drying game. One would think that when a certain storyline is created, that most subsequent recreations of the story would follow a similar pattern. Jurassic Park though just kind of meanders through the jungle and leaves the game player feeling dejected and hurt in the end. After a rather weak opening scene of the T-Rex roaring at you in low-def, the game simply starts. There is Dr. Grant standing in the jungle, armed with a dart gun and a few grenades, waiting to be brought through the jungle to a destination. And that’s about it. You need to do some jumping, a little hopping over rocks, and maybe maneuver to avoid little creatures trying to drain your life bar. You come across a dinosaur that will simply fall over for about a minute after you hit it with a dart. The grenades of course make them not get up anymore. A little more jumping and hopping along through the jungle and maybe stomp on a baby raptor while doing so. And then….TA DA! You reach the end of level one. Maybe level two will have something more exciting? But sorry, it may be a different scene, but the same general premise level after level. You go into substations, go back into the jungle, and maybe drive a motor boat through another low-def scene. This is all happening with the final goal being to get back to the Visitor Center. The second to the last scene is going through the ventilation system with raptors running around below you. Once you jump through a final hatch, you land on top of the large bones setup in the Visitor Center main hall. With a simple flick of the thumb and the toss of a grenade in between the skeleton setups, they crash onto the raptors waiting below. And the game ends…

With one simple grenade the last “boss” is defeated. In the most simplistic and moronic way, the game is over. Sorry Sega, but this blockbuster movie just doesn’t translate into your silly little black cartridges. That T-Rex is a pussy too!

8. Joust (NES)

Joust is unbearably boring. Same screen, same enemies, same poor sounds, no music. If one were looking for a legal soporific agent, Joust would be your best treatment. Who could possibly think this idea would keep the attention of the player beyond 30 seconds? When designing this game, who thought that this 1 screen sleep fest would be enough to justify its place in an entire cartridge? At least have a 2 nd game along with this garbage. At least have some weak ass side scroller with your jouster (who looks more like a flying ostrich) killing medieval enemies. Speaking of the enemies, what exactly are these things? How come all the players and enemies in “Joust” look like poorly designed birds? In Joust, you’re enveloped with one boring game, controlling something that looks like a bird, fighting against things that may or may not be more birds. Yes, the controls are simple; yes the concept is simple, but so simple that you don’t know why you should be playing this game after 30 seconds. That this ever retained a place in an arcade is beyond Old-Wizard. The sight of this NES cartridge at a used video game store induces the largest of yawns.

7. Wayne’s World (SNES)

It is quite ironic that Wayne’s World begins with Wayne and Garth reviewing their “Top Ten Worst Arcade Games List” since it is the only Super Nintendo game to make our worst ever video games list. Being fans of the SNES, a game released on that console needs to reach inordinately bad marks to be considered for inclusion on our list, but Wayne’s World did just that. Usually, video games based on movies without “Star Wars” in the title don’t turn out very well, and games based off BAD movies turn out even worse. This game is no exception. As you might expect from a game based on Wayne’s World, the story line is less than stellar: an evil purple putridosity called Zantar has kidnapped Garth, and you have to guide Wayne as he tries to rescue his hapless sidekick. Wayne is armed with a guitar that helps him defeat various enemies inhabiting Kramer’s Music Store, Stan Mikita’s Donut Shop, the Gasworks nightclub, and suburbia. In each location, the assailants include monster bagpipes, accordions, coffee cups, disco ball, and headbangers. Poor story line alone does not necessarily automatically place a game in the “bad” list. Unfortunately, boring levels, unwieldy controls and sheer monotony do. Oh, and should you choose to play it yourself, it will probably take you all of ten minutes to come to agreement with us on this one.

6. Muscle (NES)

The NES had a myriad of decent wrestling games under its belt including “Pro Wrestling” and “Wrestlemania”. It also held the worst wrestling game ever made, none other than “Muscle”. The biggest reason why Muscle is a terrible game is because of how boring it is. There are no moves, no real characters, and no dialogue. You start off the game by choosing between 9 ostensibly different players, who in reality are all exactly the same, except a slight discrepancy in the color of outfits and shape of face. The game is completely silent. You would think that if a wrestling game is going to be made, at least include some tension and excitement by adding crowd noise and an announcer, albeit an 8 bit incoherent announcer. You get none of this with “Muscle”. You get no music, no crowd noise, 2 or 3 boring moves with no choice of different characters unless your duped into thinking changing masks makes a wrestler completely different. It took about 3 minutes of playing this game to realize that you wasted 3 dollars on renting this soporific excuse for a wrestling game. Bring on “Pro Wrestling” where I can bash “Amazon” on the head with a steel chair and can use a character with a giant star in the middle of his head (Hint: When making games, use your fucking imagination!).

5. Paperboy (NES)

When you first see this game, you see the cover with a munificent, happy-go-lucky paperboy delivering papers. You think to yourself, well, a game about being a paper boy can’t be that much fun…but maybe it’s some sort of super-hero paperboy and that’s the reason why he’s so happy on the front cover! The game is opposite of the cover. After you play this game for 10 minutes, you realize the front cover should be a paperboy irritable beyond all bounds and maybe even sticking his middle finger up at the street dancers who have nowhere to dance except right in the middle of the fucking street you have to deliver on.

It’s 8 o’ clock on a Monday morning and what does the entire neighborhood you deliver to do? They get up 2 hours early to conspire against you and make it impossible to get through half the street before you’re either run over, beat with a spatula, or have a myriad of dogs chasing you. If this game is going to be as difficult as it is, at least have an option of changing routes. At least be able to tell off your boss for giving you such a shitty route where you cant get half way down the street without your life being threatened with people who have nothing better to do than to try to dominate the paper boy. If they really don’t want their paper, then fuck them. Even if you’re able to evade the infinite obstacles towards delivering to 1 house, finding the accuracy to throw a paper into a mailbox is just as tendentious. Most of the time you lose points because your papers gravitate towards breaking the glass of the houses with people who spend their waking lives trying to destroy the paperboy.

This game is tedious, grossly difficult, and absolutely no fun. To rent a game and not be able to get half way through the first level no matter what you do is lugubrious to say the least. This may be the worst game ever released for a platform system.

4. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

So yeah, we are talking about the worst games ever conceived by human beings right? There are probably some pretty horrible games trapped under the methane ice of Titan, the largest moon of Saturn, but let’s not get off the subject of just how shitty this game really is. Now normally, we here at Old Wiz don’t take the opinions of others too seriously. You know the saying, “They are like assholes, and everybody has them”. Well the word over many news wires is that we are not the only ones who think this is worthy of the moniker of “one of the worst games of all time”. One thing for sure is that the production team is for Big Rigs should have been beaten into submission for violating the cardinal rule of gaming; creating a game that doesn’t just waste time but makes you want to punch someone after playing it. Let’s go over some of the finer points that Big Rigs offers to its lowly participants…

First, the idea of this game even being a race is sketchy at best. When the contest first begins your opponents don’t really put too much effort into making this a worth while venture. That’s because the creators forgot to give them any type of functions and they drive straight…for the entire race…

Rather beat…

Let’s get even more stupid now shall we…

There is nothing to have to avoid during the race. There is nothing on the side of the road that might interfere with your driving ability. Don’t get me wrong, there are buildings, and bridges, and various other obstacles, but unlike in psuedo-reality racing games in Big Rigs you can drive right through them without even slowing down. These rigs must have such a powerful hemi under that hood that they can just drive vertically without losing speed, let alone crashing! These things can jump through the screen for crying out loud!

Let’s continue shall we…

The gears don’t really work…at all. But it doesn’t matter since you basically can’t lose. If you do, contact Old Wizard immediately and we’ll fly our chopper over to pick you up and bring you in for testing. No matter what happens in each “race” the words “You’re a Winner stick up on the screen to signify truck racing glory. The list goes on forever and ever, and maybe even some more. Frankly, this game sucks so bad that we don’t even care about writing down everything that is wrong with it. The “winners” that made this game should just be banished to eternity in a truck stop bathroom. End of story on this one.

3. Top Gun (NES)

Top Gun for the NES is probably the most boring, hackneyed game to ever be released for the great 8-bit system. It’s a flight simulator with no extra features, no stirring sounds, and no control to do anything but move forward and sometimes shoot planes that look more like computer speakers. All is well though you think because a game this easy and boring will surely be conquered in no time, but then after 50 attempts of trying to land your plane in an aircraft carrier, you realize that this game is not only odiously trite, but is impossible to end because it’s basically impossible to land your plane. When landing your plane on an aircraft carrier, you are given terse directions from your “command screen” which you follow. If you follow the directions 100% perfectly, you will have about a 5% chance of landing the plane. I have personally seen the plane landed once. I remember that eventful day. I was at a friend’s house and four of us were watching my friends’ father trying to overcome this insuperable task. The first time we saw it land, we had a party. I remember looking over at one of my friends who may have been crying out of joy, that the annoyingly impossible task could be circumvented. The excitement lasted until the end of the next level where we all knew it couldn’t happen again, and it didn’t.

How is it possible for programmers to make such a monumental mistake in making a task to finish a level so impossible? You make the game for months on end, you have testers testing it out for months on end. Who let this one slip by? This banal attempt at a flight simulator combined with poor programming make this one of the worst games of all time.

2. Shaq Fu (Sega Genesis)

Shaq Fu for the Sega Genesis is probably the worst conceived game ever to come out for any platform system. The story line is so abominable that you almost wish for a completely incoherent one was substituted as to give the idea of the storyline being more enigmatic. You are Shaq, somehow in Tokyo, where you are discovered by some zen karate master who says that you have come from some distant planet to save the world (I wonder if Shaq himself ever played this, or maybe even wrote this story line?). After you endure the blatantly uninspired storyline, you have to endure the worst 2 player fighting game of all time. The controlling in this game is incomprehensible. The best thing you can do is just hammer the buttons of your controller with your hands and watch the screen, hoping your capricious hammering of the controller will cause a victory against the most banal of opponents. Looking at the screen doesn’t help the cause either because how dumb it looks to see hackneyed monsters fighting a big dude in basketball shorts. Once you lose because the controlling is so irritating, you have to endure more uninspired dialogue from enemies with 80 times more skill than you have as Shaq. Your opponents can basically throw the elements at you, they can throw fucking planets at you, while you’re left to a high kick and a low kick depending on which buttons your randomly smashing. With a name like “Shaq Fu”, you had to know this game was going to be bad, but you were not in store for how bad it was until you actually played it for yourself.

1. E.T. (Atari 2600)

As a child in the 80’s, E.T. was a HUGE part of my life. It was the first, second, and third movie I saw in a theater. It made Reese’s Pieces my favourite candy. It forced me to ride my Star Wars Huffy off of small ledges in hopes of flying my chubby silhouette in front of the moon. Maybe the greatest of all, it took away all fear of aliens I may have had. You could imagine my excitement when my father came home with this game, his face lit up like he was my age, and led me by the hand to the beloved Atari 2600.

The point of this game is to find pieces of your ship in order to get home. The pieces are located in what can only be described as pits that ET falls into periodically. I have never made it out of the first pit. It’s been rumoured that there are 5 levels of almost identical game play. I’ve heard there are also enemies, and that eating Elliott gives you power ups…I have seen none of these things. I start the game, fall in a hole, and never get out.

This game single-handedly destroyed Atari and its legacy. They had produced so many cartridges of this game that were never sold they actually had to buy land in New Mexico and create an E.T. landfill in the desert, ouch. They tried to follow on the coat tails of Tron and capitalize on the E.T. brand, but all they ended up doing was starting a long tradition of crappy games based on movies. Thanks E.T., you crushed my childhood and gave me a reason to go outside to play in traffic.

Playing Games? Let’s Make it More Easy and Enjoyable!

Almost everyone in this planet love to play Games. With the introduction of cutting edge technologies and real life graphics in many gaming consoles like Xbox and PlayStation, gaming is really addictive today. The PC and other console games become more and more interesting as we progress through the stages. However, when we reach the final stages of any game, we will be struck with a very powerful enemy who is hard to be defeated. Eventually we’ll loose all the fun in that game. This has been a big issue for the gamers out there who inevitably become frustrated as they couldn’t complete the game. Things are a lot different these days. With cheat codes, hints and tips for games, gaming can be more enjoyable than ever before.

Gaming Cheat Codes for an easy Game Play

There are cheat codes for almost all the popular PC games and games of other gaming consoles. These Cheat codes make the game play much easier and you will be able to play the game title till the end, defeating all the enemies. Some gamers have a misconception that the cheat codes will destroy the thrill of the game. The fact is that, the cheat codes actually make the game more enjoyable. For example, if you are playing the PC game, ‘NFS most wanted-black edition’, you can easily defeat the racers in the Blacklist upto number 4. After that the game play becomes more difficult. Moreover, you will not be able to experience the thrill in the final police chase as you will be struck up in the 4th or 3rd stage. The cheat codes come in handy here. Using the cheat codes will help you to make the finishing stages of the game easier.

Game Tips and Hints for Action games

The action games and spy games (say) ‘Splinter Cell’ and ‘Quantum of Solace’ are very thrilling. However, these action games require the gamers to discover some areas to continue the game. For example, if you are playing Splinter Cell- the popular action game, you will have to remain hidden and sneak past the security cameras and enemies without getting noticed. Here, in certain levels of the game, you will be exposed to the enemies, no matter how well you play the game or whatever cheat code you use. Trying to progress in the game many times will frustrate you. Hence you will be struck unable to progress to the next levels of the game. There are many Game tips and hints to tackle this scenario. These game tips and hints will be of great use when we play action games. These Game tips will help us to finish every levels of the game with ease.

Finding Cheat codes and game tips is very easy and it’s free

Cheat codes and Game tips are scattered everywhere in the Internet. However, it is tiresome and neck breaking to search for the cheat codes of particular games all over the Internet. To a great sigh of relief there are some cool websites like cheatalready.com who display cheat codes, game tips and hints for all games, all in one place. They will be categorized based on the type of gaming consoles. The alphabetical listing of cheat codes helps you to find the one that you are looking for with a few mouse clicks. With all these cheat codes and hints available for free; gaming will be more fun and enjoyable.

December 2008 – the Top Five Computer Games Involving Lorries

The Top Five Computer Games Involving Lorries

Lorries are an every day sight on our roads and motorways, ubiquitous in modern life and a common sight (and sometimes annoyance) for drivers. A lorry in the next lane is as much a part of road life as cat’s eyes or yellow speed cameras. But these haulage giants have become more than just a part of our road life – they are a cultural symbol and are frequently seen on our cinema and PC screens. We take a look at the latter, and count down the top five uses of lorries, lorry drivers and general purpose road haulage vehicles in computer games.

5. Silent Hill

In the fifth instalment of this popular first person horror game, our hero drives his lorry into a very unfriendly neighbourhood. Players take the role of Travis Grady, an ordinary lorry driver in the wrong place at the wrong time, confronted with – as so often happens – hordes of undead zombies and mutilated monsters. Not after his lorry, they see him as a tasty snack, and he has to defend himself while saving the town and the few innocents left there.

4. Blast Corps

The first of two games in our list where haulage is a problem, Blast Corps had a novel way of explaining the chaos you were supposed to unleash. A lorry carrying two nuclear missiles started leaking, and the computerised lorry driver in the cab switched to autopilot in an attempt to get the radioactive material to the disposal silo as soon as possible. The problem was, this means taking the lorry by a direct, straight line, as-the-crow-flies route. Through buildings and ditches and, on one occasion, over a river with no bridge. Averting a crash and the ensuing meltdown was, of course, your patriotic duty and you were tasked with blowing up, filling in or ramming aside anything that would get in the lorry’s way. Damn. And we were so hoping to leave that town standing.

3. Frogger 3D

A sad parable about the dangers of involvement with road haulage, Frogger was fun if you won or lost. Several types of road haulage (moving at improbably high speeds) were some of the nastier hazards encountered while guiding your little green frog across what could only have been the M4, M25 and Route 66 laid side by side. Of course, the lorry driver probably felt a little sorry for you after he cleaned the green smear from his wheels at the next lorry stop, but by then it was too late. Frogs take note: using pedestrian bridges is the way to a longer, less car-filled life.

2. The Grand Theft Auto Series

In stark contrast to the possible regret of any lorry drivers in Frogger 3D, it’s much more likely that the population of the Grand Theft Auto (AKA GTA) series would have swerved towards anything small and defenceless on the roads. Taking the role of a hard as nails Mafioso/ hit man/ east European ex-army man/ gang leader doesn’t really leave room for subtlety on the roads. Tankers, lorries, freight trucks and baggage handler trucks all made an appearance in the games, though few were used to solve your commercial haulage needs. Employed as mobile bombs or needed to ram someone else off the road, using lorries in GTA was about as far removed from the life of normal haulage contractors as it’s possible to get.

1. Transformers

What’s better than being the lorry driver? Being the lorry itself. Or, in fact, being a transforming car that has a lorry as it’s a boss. Nothing is quite as fun as receiving orders from a large, red, robot lorry named Optimus Prime. Think conversations with a road haulage vehicle would be boring? Possibly, if it couldn’t help you create huge weapons and fight other transforming robots. Today’s lorries are clearly letting the side down on the explosions front.

Honourable mention – Big Rigs

It is worth looking at a game that – supposedly – centres around racing lorries; Big Rigs. While the game purports to let you “race lorries across the country, with police chasing you”, it does nothing of the sort. Almost universally acknowledged as the worst computer game of all time, the lorries involved travel on a flat plain, with nothing interacting with them and no police in sight. Boring, awful and possibly felonious in its blurb, Big Rigs is an unfortunate stain on the otherwise entertaining use of lorries and road haulage in computer games.

How to lower your PING in any Counter Strike game. (Very easy way + Download LINK)

This videos shows you how to lower your PING in any Counter Strike game. File to download (3 different links): 1. www.mediafire.com 2. rapidshare.com 3. www.megaupload.com Commands which you need to write in CS console: -rate -Rate -cl_updaterate -Update Rate -mp_decals -Decals -cl_rate -Client Rate -cl_cmdrate -Cmd Rate -cl_cmdbackup -Cmd Backups SUBSCRIBE! RATE! APPERIATE!